desicreative.com

These are the first drafts of the TVC scripts i wrote recently. I m not sure if this is the right forum.. in case i am wrong.. sorry. It will be great and helpful if you guys could give some honest feedback.. basically about the writing and the short poems
thanks




concept: Strong India

Voice Over:

Har din lakeero se ladta hu
Har din zamaane se joojhta hu main
Har din aakhri saas leti himmat ko
Hausle ka dum deta hu main

Na udne ke liye pankho ki chaahat hai
Na girne ke liye zameen ki zarurat
Raat kitni bhi gehri ho
Har din suraj ki tarah ugta hu main

Tutna gavaara hai,
Jhhuk nahi sakta main
Desh ko chalaana hu,
Ruk nahi sakta main

Bon K2
Ab India banega strong

What's the product? Whats the proposition?

You sound like a lyricist that an ad guy. Its nice as lyrics, but I can't see any product and brand proposition, unless you can explain that to me.

thank you.. I am a copy guy.. and i can write good hindi.. jobless right now
the product was supposed to be a vitamin D supplement... like a calcium sandoz

Nice.. I liked it.

Nice stuff. Check your job post.

Thank you Sir

Nice VO. You write well.

thank you sir

Well written Sir!

Thank you so much sir

I'm sorry I'm not the most fluent in hindi but that was nice stuff. Well done.

Thank you

Godo work man! Very good!

Thank you sir