TVC Story Board

[cooldepp]

hey freinds


this is a rough storyboard for a TVC.
Please have some patience and read this
and plz plz..... plz tell me your feedback on this

[silly lily]

sorry.. this is too long and convoluted.. more lke a feature film than a tvc

[cooldepp]

hmmm........
i guess u r saying so because i had elaborated each scene to that extent.
i did it bcoz i wanted the ppl to understand whats goin on. i visualized it bfore n it hardly takes 40-45 secs.
and i did elaborate bcoz the story board here lacks the support of visuals.
but apart frm the length what else do you think abt the overall idea ???
the tagline ?¿?

[silly lily]

i like

[cooldepp]

thnx

[pixelfiesta]

I think somewhere in between it needs a trigger for the father to feel nostalgic. May be some event on the TV that makes him think and change his mind. Its very abrupt the way he scolds his son and then very next second he feels nostalgic.

[Desh Premi]

what I dodnt like is that much of the actions that you have described, are in words. its a book script not a shooting script. So much that you describe easily on words, it sso damn difficult to show that in a film.

example:

"He could ha elived his dream and be what he wanted to but could't because he kept quite'

"And so he thinks that now even his son must be going through the same"

its so easy to wroite this. how will you show this in a film? you have to make a more shoot friendly script.

you idea about 'soch badlo' is nice. seems like a positioning of Tata Tea. Or even to some vague extent 'Idea Mobile', abouyt bringing a new kind of thought.

[silly lily]

good point desh premi.. what do u say cooldepp?

[cooldepp]

hmm. alot of things to say no


@ pixelfiesta
Its very abrupt the way he scolds his son and then very next second he feels nostalgic.

i guess the problem here is simply that the way i can visuaise it can't ecxplain the same to others.
i know the writing here is not that convincing. and everything you said depends upon the actors who peform this comercial, the director and the editor. if i someday get a chance to do so , i believe i would definately do justice and can show what i reaaly visualize from this.
i know it's difficult to visualise everything from just a rough storyboard. bt that'all i can say in my justification

@ deshpremi
what I dodnt like is that much of the actions that you have described, are in words. its a book script not a shooting script. So much that you describe easily on words, it sso damn difficult to show that in a film.

yup i understand your difficulty to understand that's why i said earlier
"i guess u r saying so because i had elaborated each scene to that extent.
i did it bcoz i wanted the ppl to understand whats goin on. i visualized it bfore n it hardly takes 40-45 secs.
and i did elaborate bcoz the story board here lacks the support of visuals. but apart frm the length what else do you think abt the overall idea ???
the tagline ?¿?"

i know it's easy to write this but it's not impossible to shoot it. india is full of talent
Again it depends upon the actor, director and the editor of the commercial.

the idea of soch badlo is actually

in life we all experience moments when we don't speak up about what we really want
sometimes due to apprehensions, fear, awkwardness, or simply bcoz it can be a mrk of disrespect to some elder person. as a result you have to live with what that somebody else has chosen for you instead of what you had wanted.

the most cliche example: it's like you want to marry a girl/boy whom you love. but your parents ask you to marry a person of their choice
you don't speak up your mind bcoz u r afraid of your parents or don't want to show disrespect or whatver
and taddaaa

or

you have a hari sadu type of boss who pays you peanuts for your sweat
you want to quit thejob. but every time you try to talk about your resignation. he gives you emotional attyachar, he reminds you about the favour he did on you by giving you the job
result: you don't speak up your mind. you live the F@#$%%g life with your boss's emotional attyachar

and thus the positioning is simple "to voice your thoughts"
leave all the apprehension, awkwardness, fears behind and just voice yor thoughts


soch badlegi, duniya badlegi
sliye apni soch ko awaz do

i don't know how it seems similar to tata tea & idea positioning

@ sillylilly
good point desh premi.. what do u say cooldepp?

i agree with her point but the above is all i can say

again i wrote so much to explain all this

[cooldepp]

and also since it'a a voice sms the line goes perfectly
apni soch ko awaz do


what do you guys say???

thanks for your suggestions guys. i appreciate you took out time to analyze it and guide me

[Ek Kanya]

I can just say one thing:

"And so he thinks that now even his son must be going through the same"

cant be ACTED out. I am an actor myself.

ts very abrupt the way he scolds his son and then very next second he feels nostalgic.

this, on the screen, can look like he felt guilty after scolding his son. Not that he felt his son must be going through the same pain and conflict he went through himself, some three decades ago.

[TruthHurts]

are you wroking for an agency? are you presenting this idea to the client?

[cooldepp]

@ ek kanya
absolutely
thanks for understanding and wat else do u feel abt d overall idea


@truth hurts
yup i work for an agency but they r into btl only hence planning to switch
but this is for my portfolio
is there any problem if i were to present it to some client????

[TruthHurts]

dont worry. go ahead and present this to the client. dont listen to omuch to what other people have to tell you. after all, you have thought of this idea with some thought in mind, right?

[cooldepp]

@truthhurts

thanks truthhurts
When i get the right opportunity i would definately

you speak in such an optimistic manner
but y is ur profile pic and name so opposite

hey ek kanya u siad u r an actor
what? i mean where? theatres, documentaries where do you act
just curious